Slicing Gifts
by December
Summary: Some things in life are hard, like finding a gift for your girlfriend. A quick look inside Ralph's head.


**Slicing Gifts**

_A Ralph Drabble/Ficlet_

**By: December**

He had no idea what he was doing.

Sure, he could rock out on the drums. He could handle little kids, who were a lot of fun, in his opinion. He could rock a tan, rock climb, and appreciate rock 'n roll. He could rock whatever he put his mind to. Okay, maybe he couldn't do math, but that didn't count. All of those things – except math – were easy.

Buying your new girlfriend a birthday gift? That was hard. And it was the reason why Ralph Pappadapolus stood in the middle of the mall on a Saturday afternoon, lost in thought, confused, and a little shell-shocked.

It had occurred to him to ask for help, but he wasn't sure who to ask. He had no sisters. His mother would have gone on and on about how cute it was, and then asked if she was a "good Greek girl". Ralph thought it might be wise not to have that conversation with his mother. Sure, he had female cousins he could ask, but he didn't know how to bring up his dilemma there either.

His circle of friends wasn't much help either. Asking Derek was definitely out. Besides the fact that Derek still pointed out how Ralph didn't use the freeze-out strategy with Amanda, Derek had actually broken up with a girlfriend to avoid buying a gift. Sam was out, too. The only serious girlfriend Sam had had was Casey. And Casey wasn't a typical girlfriend, if Sam's stories and Derek's complaining were any indication. Ralph had thought about asking Casey, as she was a girl and should, therefore, understand girls, but he decided against it. He was a little afraid that Casey would take over and he'd end up with a perfect Casey gift for Amanda. Well, that and Ralph got the feeling that asking Casey for help would weird Derek out.

But maybe Casey could help him without actually helping him. He'd heard enough Casey stories (from Derek – more so than from Sam, even when Sam was dating Casey – which Ralph found strange but didn't question) that he might be able to figure out what Casey might ask him if she were helping. If he could answer those questions…

Ralph's brow furrowed in concentration. Well, Casey would probably ask what Amanda liked. In thinking about it, Ralph found he didn't really know. He hadn't been dating Amanda for all that long. He winced a little when he realized that, and decided not to ever share that with Casey, in any form. He had a feeling Casey would not react well to an answer like that from any boyfriend, regardless of the girl in question.

What would Casey ask next? Maybe about the last conversation Ralph had had with Amanda. Maybe there was something in there.

Ralph had last talked with Amanda on Friday over lunch. She'd had a dance practice of some sort after school, so he'd only got spend lunch with her that day. Like most Fridays, he'd made a lunch for her. Oddly enough, he was good at that sort of thing – probably because food was something he thought about a lot. They hadn't said anything really important until she had started to unwrap the food he'd packed her.

She was unwrapping his special Ralphbagwich while she was talking about her morning. Ralph smiled and nodded as he thought about the creation Amanda was about to try. The Ralphbagwich was a combination of meats, cheeses, and sauces on a bagel that Ralph had stopped explaining to people because it scared them away from trying it. Strange combinations aside, it was an awesome explosion of taste and very rock and roll.

Amanda had just taken a bite of the creation. She'd closed her eyes and moaned. "This," she declared as she opened her eyes, "is amazing, Ralphie."

Ralph's smiled had widened. "Of course it is. The Ralphbagwich is sweet!...And sour. And tangy. And-"

"Really, really good!" Amanda had giggled.

Ralph had then straightened his shoulders a bit. "Well, if you like this, I should make you dessert sometime."

"Absolutely," Amanda agreed. "And you have to teach me how you made this."

"Sure. No problem."

Amanda had taken a few more bites before she looked down at the main part of her lunch again. "How did you get the bagel to slice so evenly?"

"My ultimate bagel slicer. It even works on the tiny, mini ones."

"A bagel slicer? I always try to use a knife, but it slips and I always end up cutting myself."

At that point, Ralph had reached across the table and taken Amanda's left hand. He flipped it over and looked for cuts. He did the same thing with her right hand, as Amanda had put down the Ralphbagwich at this point. "Your hands still look cute and unscarred to me," Ralph shared.

He had looked up to see that his girlfriend was blushing a little. Then, after a pause, she had shyly tugged her hands back and replied, "For now, at least. But they won't stay that way if I have bagels for breakfast once a week." Then she'd sighed and changed to subject to something that Ralph couldn't remember now.

"How did that help?" Ralph asked himself as he scanned the stores around him one more time. It wasn't like he could prevent her from knife injury, unless he –

As the kitchen supply store came into his line of vision, everything snapped together. That was it! It was perfect and so rock and roll.

He would get Amanda her own bagel slicer. That way she didn't have to worry about cutting herself with a knife. And he's throw in the Ralphbagwich recipe, too. He was sure Amanda would appreciate it.

- the end -

_**This drabble idea had been rolling around in my head for months. I just knew there had to be a story when Ralph shared (in Open Mic Plight) that he had gotten Amanda a bagel slicer for her birthday. Take some of the insights we gained from Ralph and Casey?! and How I Met Your Stepbrother…and here is a plot bunny. I had hoped it would have been ready for a small competition, but it didn't get written in mind. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading.**_

_**And I am thinking about a Ralph as Chef universe of future fic (like the Ralph as Comic group of stories)…because I obviously think I don't have enough writing to do.**_


End file.
